Ai kan haz sooshee?

I honestly don't even know what to make of this story. I'm horrified by animal cruelty, I can get behind encouraging people to not wear fur, but this? Really? Did these people eat lead paint chips as children?

Are Women Funny?

Not too long ago, Christopher Hitchens wrote a fascinating piece essay titled "Why Women Aren't Funny." Let me say for the record, that I like Christopher Hitchens, and also generally agree with him. However, in this article, Hitchens seems to be saying that women inherently lack a funny bone, are moreover, that women don't have to be funny in the same way that men do to attract the opposite sex. I disagree with the first point, but think there's some merit to the second.

Humor is a generally reliable indicator of intelligence. Unless you're laughing at someone chances are excellent that they've said something that displays an IQ above Gump range. Hand in hand with that observation is the fact that girls are taught from an early age that boys want an audience, not rivals. Whereas "he who gets the bigger laugh wins" may be the case with men, no guy wants to constantly hear that his girlfriend/FB/sweaty dance partner is so funny.

I have a self-deprecating, dry, and incisive wit, coupled with a nearly non-existent tolerance for stupidity. However, there are probably plenty of people out there who think I’m mean – which leads me to another problem for funny girls. If most jokes arise from pointing out the idiosyncrasies of other people, then girls who do so violate the sacred-self-deprecation-one-upmanship-rule of feminine bonding. To not engage is a faux pas, but to purposely point out of flaws of another is sacrilege. Men, on the other hand, engage in the exact opposite of that – the playful mocking or bestowal of an embarrassing nickname is a sign of friendship.

Hitchens loses me when he connects my humorous to my uterus. According to him, as a female, my sole driving goal is to reproduce, whereas his is not. Charles Darwin and I beg to differ. We're all wired with the desire to pass on our genes with the best partner we can, and while males may place less importance on intelligence overall, no self-respecting guy wants to father the offspring of a high-functioning moron, regardless of how hot she is. However, if women have learned that the best way to get a guy is to not outshine (or, God forbid, tease) him, and making fun of other girls leads to social ostracism, then it's not likely that we'll be the ones who are getting the most applause at amateur improv night. In short, I think it's not necessarily pre-programmed, but a learned behavior.